Glimpses of a Marriage Part 1 (Learning)

I'm a pretty private person when it comes to my relationship with my husband. I think most people are in their relationships, but I want Skye Light Creations to be a safe haven; for me and for anyone, who just wants to feel like they're not the only ones going through something in this life.

So, I wanted to create this series, "Glimpses of a Marriage." A REAL marriage; it has to be real, because I'm a real human being, married to another human being. We made the choice to get married. This is real. I'm not saying this series is going to be all about the struggles in marriage, but it's going to be REAL. And if there is a struggle, I think worth sharing, I'm going to share it. And if there's a crazy beautiful moment, that I think needs to be shared, I'm going to share that too. It's mostly just going to be moments in my marriage that stick out to me.

Starting with this one...

One night, when we were going to bed, James said, "I'm loving you through new eyes. Even more than before." His words were sweet, but I was almost in tears just thinking about how great he is at loving me. We had been going through a rough patch and he was so good at loving me, I didn't even notice a skip in the beat of his love.

My immediate thought after that was how strong we would be if I could learn from him. If I could offer the same sturdy foundation he effortlessly offers me day in and day out. If I could be his safe haven, that warm embrace he needs when the world is so cold. 

We went through some crappy stuff and he loved me through it and came out the other end loving me even more. I mean...who does that? I'm making myself out to sound really cold-hearted towards my husband, which I'm totally not. I love him with all my heart and soul, but I'm plagued with that "independent" attitude. It's really hard to drop, even once you're married. When life starts to get hard, my knee jerk reaction is "I can handle this on my own, watch me." Which, unintentionally pushes him out, which is exactly what I don't want to do. I'm a wife-in-progress. Can I get an amen? Or am I the only wife on this planet trying to learn how to actually lean on the person who wants you to lean on them?

"I'm loving you through new eyes. Even more than before."

What beautiful words. 

Leaves me yearning to learn how to love so recklessly again.