Look of Regret

I saw it. In a crowded room. The look of regret shuddered quickly over his eyes. All those years later and in just one glimpse, I saw it. He looked at her and it was like everything clicked and he saw where he could have done better and what his life could have been.

That's the funny thing about could-have-beens, they all boil down to very small moments, where very small decisions were made. And these very small moments and decisions pile together to make monumental life-altering reactions. 

But in that glimpse, he saw it. He saw the apology that was never delivered. He saw the flowers that failed to show up. He saw a lot of late nights, where she was left lonely in the name of "fun." He saw all the time dedicated to a lot of other people, but not her. He saw vices that he had turned into her guilt. And for the first time, he saw how tender she was. He saw how he had transformed her into the tough shell she had become and that all along, her tender-heart was waiting. Waiting for his trust and stability. This woman's heart had waited years for him. The gravity of that finally sank in and he blinked his eyes. The glance ended and they were both on their way. 

They both went on to lead pretty great lives. But yet, there, in that moment, was the look of regret. The look of little moments caught up to someone. The look of, "I should have tried harder," and, "What would it be like now?"

I saw it there. It was only a moment. It was only a glimpse. It was that look of regret. 

Everyday Magic

I recently deleted my Instagram. My account is still on there and I intend on revisiting Instagram, when my soul is ready for it. For now, every time I was on it, I just felt a deep pull to delete it. I felt it was consuming my brain with other people's dreams and lives, instead of my OWN. 

Remember the days when your favorite artist was a mystery? You would wonder what special, certain someone a song was about or what kind of pain they were feeling in the moment those lyrics were scribbled onto the paper. You would wonder how they were so cool and how they could do what they did so well. You would wonder what their everyday life looked like and if you were sitting in school at that very moment; where were they?  I feel like the mystery of artists has vanished. Almost anyone you can admire these days has an Instagram page, where you can see into the intimate parts of their life. It's AWESOME. But also, takes away from the art, in my humble opinion. 

I've always been a sucker for photography and the pictures that rock me to the bones are the ones of the artists, just simply doing their craft. They were in the moment, just making music, painting a picture, designing, etc. They weren't on Instagram trying to promote themselves. Art is the promotion! Raw art with no agenda, but to simply be. And that's the space I want to create from. I don't want to feel like my writing is a failure, because I only have a couple hundred Instagram followers. (What is that!)  I want to focus on my life and my art and the gift of being on this planet. So here's to creating from sacred spaces that Instagram can't touch! 

With all that said,

I'm starting a little "blog series," on here, that I'm going to call "Everyday Magic." They'll just be simple moments that I've found lately that have brought me to my knees with gratitude. My hope is, if you stumble across this series, you too, will notice there is magic in every day. Yes, every day, in YOUR life. Look for it and it is there.


Lately, I have found magic in...

Wide- open fields to run in.

$3 Thrift store finds.

Puppy snuggles.

Grocery store runs in our pajamas and unnecessary balloons.

Shooting photographs in bushes. 

Sticky, wind-blown, night drives, under the Texas sky.

Here's to finding your everyday magic, friends!