Changes.

Ch-ch-ch-ch- changes…turn and face the strange changes.

Bowie anyone?

Have you ever heard a song a million times, and sang the lyrics perfectly each time, but they’ve never really punctured your soul?

Until one night, when you’re sitting all by yourself in your house that’s up for sale, looking at your cabernet glass, heart swelling with gratitude, and for whatever reason, this little melody pops into your head…

So you put it on, “Changes - David Bowie.” And this night. This particular night, in this place in time, the words seep in all the way to your core.

Your mouth agape, your eyes filled with tears, as every word floats in perfect unison with your life.

That was tonight. October 7th, 9:43 pm. 

Changes. I find it funny that we’re still taken aback by the change in life when really that’s all that is ever happening. 

I quipped, “People don’t change,” to my husband the other day and he quickly replied, “Every single person changes, all the time.” 

And I was like wait a minute. He’s right.

Just think about it. Say you decided to sit on the couch for the rest of your life, in the same room. Do you think in twenty years, you’d be the same person that sat down? I don’t. I think even if the room stayed the exact same, our minds and our bodies would change. The evolution of our beings is inescapable.

This is the long winded way of saying, I am learning to embrace change.

I’m starting to think our discomfort with change only comes from societal norms we’ve grown accustomed to, becuase at our core we’re ever-expanding beings.

So, what’s changing on the Schanzer homefront?

Welp, we are selling our beautiful home on the hill. The home we said, out loud, that we’d be spending the next twenty years of our lives in. The home that I have pages and pages of dreams sketched out for. The home that has just the right amount of trees to swing under, read a book with, and remind you that you are a puny little piece of this Universe, but yet let’s the sun shine through all the windows at all hours of the day. The home where I saw my kid’s future prom pictures on the staircase. The home I found my audacity to live how I want to live in. The home that we said would always be our kid’s safe place. That home is for sale. 

And I’m totally ok with it. 

More than a home, I want my children to remember their parent’s determination to live life with the taste of utter freedom always in the air. To change course when they felt called to. To have complete trust in what lay ahead, rather than continually reexamining what’s in the past and feeling tied down by anything, but love.

So, why? Why the heck is the gorgeous home filled with so many hopes for sale? 

So many thoughts are racing through my head as I type ‘why?’

So, I will try to break it down. 

Simplicity is probably reason number one. Regardless of values and priorities, a bigger house does create bigger responsibilities, financially, emotionally, and time-consuming-ly. 

We were really made aware of this over the summer.

We headed out on an epic summer road trip and along the way we stayed in cute, little air bnbs. At each stop, we had suitcases and each other, and we were over the moon. We felt unhindered. It made me and James’ eyebrows perk up. I remember a few moments, basking in our family time in these small spaces and just trading glances with James as if to say, “This is all we need.”

I think five years ago, me and James were setting our path ablaze and wanted to prove to ourselves, we could.

We could buy a new car.

We could get the nice job.

We could get the grand house.

We could be successful adults. Ha!

And we did it.

We relished in moments of being proud of ourselves, however, the last two years have held this underlying riptide, that no one could see, but James and I could feel.

Every day the current of our hearts was going one direction and life was pulling us another, dredging up the dark sands buried beneath the soft top layer.

Life was good and there are so many beautiful memories sewn throughout the two years at this house that will live forever in my mind.

This house is a cornerstone in the journey of our life.

This is where I left teaching and pursued my own business (finally)! 

This is where James made two career changes and realized he wanted to get into medicine.

This is where I fell in love with the Pines and found utter peace and solitude in my days.

This is where I fell in love with getting my hands in the dirt and planting things.

This is where the 1.5 mile loop I walk in our neighborhood gave me some of my greatest confidence to pivot. 

But this is also where, if I’m being honest, a lot of our days just felt like *too much* and out of touch with the essence of our family foundation.

Nothing is or was wrong. It’s just a nagging little feeling.

And with all the pivots and realizations, we realized this just isn’t the home to best serve our family in the future.

So we’re going small.

We’re going simple. 

And we’re going slow.

We’ve had a beautiful selling experience thus far and it feels like our buyers are *meant to be.* 

My family and I are in a space of utter peace. 

We have no idea what perfect little home is going to pop for us, but we all just know it will.

So, we’re ooh-ing and ahh-ing at all the beauty on our 1 acre property for the short time that it is still ours and have our eyes filled with stars looking towards the future. 

As one of my most favorite pieces of writing ever (Desiderata by Max Ehrmann) states, “No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should,” and it indeed is. I find solace with those words. It all, always works out. 

So that’s that. That’s why we’re moving. To reintroduce ourselves to small, simple, and slow and enter into a new chapter of my business and writing for myself, and start the MedSchool journey for James. 

It’s all very exciting!
I hope you’ll join us for the journey!