Staying Strong

So here they are; the tough years. 

The years that are going to make or break you.
The years that bring you to your knees. 
The years that make you second guess every decision in your life. 

Dear Married-Woman in a rough patch,

The days have been long and lonely. I see you sitting on the couch with your world spinning by you,. You're dazed and half- numb. The immense joy your children bring you is only enough to bring a smirk to your face. Half of you feels like it's gone missing, the half that your husband holds. You feel like you're going at this thing all alone, when you committed your life to some one who said they'd be by your side. He comes and goes, but does he see you?

You cling to the memories of sun tans and loud laughter. Late nights, long mornings, and how every day was an exciting adventure. Wind in the hair, music on blast, and lunch dates. Holding hands, that giddy feeling, feeling like the luckiest girl walking with that man by your side. You cling to just you two.

You can't believe you've arrived to this place, asking yourself; do I stay? Is this what I signed up for? Is this my life? Is this my marriage? 

Let me tell you, stay.

In a world where marriage has become a second class citizen and women who stay in "hard" marriages are viewed as weak. I'm telling you, please, stay.  Not for any one else, except yourself. And let me tell you something, women who stay are the strongest of them all. 

Women who stay endure the storm. They scream with rage, they cry in despair, all the while seeming perfectly calm to not interrupt the childhood of their children. They steer the ship, when they have no clue what direction it's going. They keep it afloat. Their lives, their heart, their marriage, they keep them afloat. 

Have faith in the decision you made about that man you married. It was your decision after all, and I know you trust yourself. You know he has a heart of gold, you know he is a good person. Why start second guessing your decision when things get tough? You knew they would get tough.

So here they are; the tough years. Fight through them! Kick, scream, argue, but get down to the bottom of it and rebuild. 

Fight for this life you chose. Fight for this love. Wake up and fight. 

The strongest of the women stay. You are strong. You've got this.

With love,

A woman on the other side

**This was originally written on September 18, 2015. It got lost in my drafts and I just stumbled upon it. At the time, my husband and I were going through a lot. I was writing the words I needed to hear, from some one, any one, but they never came. This is for you if you find yourself looking at a stranger at the end of every day- in the mirror and in your spouse. Take these words if you need them and fight for your marriage. I can confidently say now, on May 21st, 2017, the fight is worth it! **