I've been noticing a trend in the way people think about independence and dependence and it was brought to the forefront of my mind, with the new song on the radio by Hailee Steinfield called "Love Myself." I really like the song, but the line, "Gonna love myself, no, don't need anybody else," is what pushed me to the point of writing this post.
So, my question is, can't people love themselves, be strong, and still need other people? Why does it have to be one or the other? Is a human being actually needing another human being something that should be viewed as weak? Or is it brave?
I believe there is a balance, you want to know yourself enough, that you're content and can survive in every day life on your own. I mean, know how to pay your bills and drive your own car. Know your beliefs and what matters to you in this life. Total dependency can be scary, because you can get taken advantage of, you can be the one taking advantage of other people, and you can end up in the wrong relationship real quick. You have to know yourself. But once you have that, the act of needing some one is complete bravery!
Can't you be free and still need some one?
Can't you have one hand high, sifting through the wind out the car window, racing at 70 mph, while the other steadily holds the driver's hand?
Can't you take care of business all day and then collapse into the arms that know how hard times are for you?
Can't you go out and drink a little too much and have the rock to your life pick you up and rub your back?
Can't you ferociously chase your dreams with a brave face and then, confess all your self doubts and worries as you look at the eyes laying on the pillow next to you?
Can't you fearlessly learn the hard lessons and then feel safe shedding the tears of hard mistakes, with an understanding lap to sit in?
Can't you go at this world with four hands, instead of two?
Two points of view, instead of one?
Two sets of lessons learned, instead of one?
Two hearts, instead of one?
Wouldn't life be more vibrant, looking through your own eyes and through the eyes of another?
Wouldn't life be warmer, curling up in a blanket of vulnerability and acceptance with another?
Wouldn't life be clearer with a hand to wipe away the fog of unclarity?
Wouldn't we have more answers to the questions?
Love yourself. Know yourself. But then, love others fiercely. And give in to the vulnerability it takes to need somebody. You can be independent and still need to rest your head.
So go conquer this life darling, and pick a sturdy shoulder that fits your crooked head.
A shoulder to catch the tears, kisses, hugs, laughs, break downs, triumphs, and confusion.
You are fragile and strong. It's called being human.
Don't deny yourself the fragile part, it's the most remarkable.
Yes, you. You are fragile and strong.